You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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