Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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