I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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