don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
