You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
