I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Enjoy the penises
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
