To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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