if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
