my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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