im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
