so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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