he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He has the fingertips of a God
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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