You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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