Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
