you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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