I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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