she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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