At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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