If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
