i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
