JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
