he was CRYING into my vagina
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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