it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
