McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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