the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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