Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
