Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
organizing the empties. That sober.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
