glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
