How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There r osticjed everywhere
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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