Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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