You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
