A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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