It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
