Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
