i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize