How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize