Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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