You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize