The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize