Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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