Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
