i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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