Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
