Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
