Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i think i just lost a toe
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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