What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
