Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
