dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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