Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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