He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
