Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
