some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
