You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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