shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
