Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
