is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't turn off my feet"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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