So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
