I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
